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I want to die. And the only reason I don't let it happen is cuz of… - GLBT Alcoholics/Drug Addicts [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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[Jul. 9th, 2009|09:17 am]
GLBT Alcoholics/Drug Addicts
gay_alcoholics
[superfluousego]
I want to die. And the only reason I don't let it happen is cuz of how much pain it will cause the ones I love. Thats pretty fucking sick
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[User Picture]From: eidolonamorata
2009-07-09 05:04 pm (UTC)
I feel the exact same way you do, for whatever comfort that's worth.
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[User Picture]From: drifters_be
2009-07-11 04:37 am (UTC)
funny the different way we all see the world and our place in it.I have felt as you have described yourself as feeling. Now I face everyday fightinhg to live and to be healthy. Everytime I take another pill and wait for the side effects to take me and my choices over all I can think about is I am glad I am alive.
i hope you find your way out of the darkness.

be kind to yourself

db
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[User Picture]From: fireboy4plai
2009-07-19 06:19 am (UTC)
It's one hell of a roller-coaster. Something your cells have grown accustomed to suddenly disappearing can be a pretty powerful challenge to the will. We do heal, the body does adapt. It takes time.
I just say, if the only solace one finds is at the bottom of the bottle, then that's not actually a life. From this end of the process, the tail end, I like who I am if for no other reason than that I'm trying to be better than I was yesterday. But I didn't start from there either. I don't know very many who have. If not wanting to hurt the loved-ones is what gets someone through the day, it's not necessarily a bad reason. I just, like you, hope there eventually comes a reason that's more *self* related.
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